The Silencing

Being silenced does not work for her. You don’t have to tell her to be quiet outright for her to know she’s being silenced. It’s not hard for her to tell. Many people walk around day to day thinking she shouldn’t be heard, seen, or take up any space. It’s nothing personal. She’s a woman. It is what it is.

Have you ever felt a silencing? Can you identify with her? It happens very quickly. In a few words, in a few gestures. The request of quiet. The demand of vacancy.

Over the years she’s been given many instructions. The blueprints have been reviewed with her. The plans for human behavior. Her mother advised her to be careful to not have too much confidence. To never overstay her welcome. To leave things as if she were never there. This silencing was not negatively intended. In fact, it was intended to protect her. To protect her from the world her mother understood. But, this is not the world that she would eventually see and experience.

The world she would experience as she grew older would give favors to only the loud, the confident, those that left their mark. Those that were unafraid of who they are, unbending in the requirement that they remain the center of attention, directing the most resources to them. The world in which she would grow older would not provide for her if she remained quiet, for there would be no one to speak for her.

Now, this does not mean that she doesn’t have to play by the rules, but she must be confident. She must be brave enough to insert herself, to not abide by the silencing requests. But she must do it in a way that still flatters the requestor. She must speak softly and steadily, not too loudly or assertively. The place she speaks from must be mindful and clear.

She keeps her mind open. Yes, she was trained to disappear, and the older she gets, the more easily and frequently it happens without her intention. Eventually she will fade away into nothing. It’s only natural. In the meantime, she stays open-minded about what is possible if she diverts her attention from the silencers. When she feels the request coming in her direction, she will slow it down, like a batter seeing a pitch. She will turn her head and walk away. Will she be seen as rude? This is possible. She must be prepared for it.

No matter what actions she takes, or ways she follows the rules, there will always be those who disapprove. As long as she makes her way in spite of this, leveraging her knowledge, this should be ok. It is ok to be disapproved of. By some. Not by all. This does not work.

Curry favor. Be kind and persistent. Do not be silenced. Influence. Know the blueprints, study them. She is not afraid of disapproval, but seeks approval when it works and is necessary.

The silencing does not work for her. Oh, and please don’t tell her to calm down. She is not threatening you.

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